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When Thanksgiving Overwhelms You

For years, my husband has begged that we go away for the holidays. So this year we did. Now we’re back just in time to celebrate Thanksgiving at our house with thirty-five family members. I don’t think this is what Scott had in mind, but we compromised. And I really shouldn’t be blogging tonight. There’s still so much to do. But the pumpkin pies are done. I even cut special little dough leaves this year for decoration. The laundry is finished for at least the next five minutes, seven loads since last night, but it’s not put away, and I […]

By Paula November 22, 2017

Beyond Beautiful…A Letter to New Moms

I wish twenty-six years ago, as a brand new mom, I knew how to measure beauty. At nine months pregnant with my first child, I thought I looked awful. Hoping to improve my appearance, I went and got a perm at a JC Penney’s in Alabama. Needless to say, I gave birth with bad hair. After that birth, I spent far too much energy longing to get back into my old jeans. Beauty mattered a great deal to me and my body wasn’t the same after having a baby. I felt like a milk cow. And struggled to regain how […]

By Paula November 17, 2017

When You Are Afraid

On Sunday I left for a writers’ retreat. Already anxious about going, about an hour into the drive to Tahoe, I called to see how things were at home. “Joey’s come down with a fever,” said my husband. “But don’t worry. He’s okay.” Of course, after hanging up the phone, I worried. A 12 year old needs his mom when he’s sick. A couple hours later, I called home again. “Joey and Cruz are both sick now,” but they’ll be fine. Enjoy your writer’s retreat. Yeah, right. It’s very hard to enjoy anything when my kids are down. I went […]

By Paula November 4, 2017

When A Baby Saves Your Life

It never dawned on me a baby was the answer. A son to save our son. I can’t write this without crying. A year ago, I was praying for God to do something, anything, to rescue Luke. At 19, our oldest son was in college. He had a job washing dishes after school in a posh restaurant. And came home every Sunday with his laundry, hugged his mama, and ate dinner with the family. But sometimes tears of sadness would streak my cheeks while I washed Luke’s clothes. The smell of marijuana was always there. I knew Luke was smoking […]

By Paula October 27, 2017

Are You Being Shaken?

We harvest our walnuts this time of year. It’s Monday morning, and I can hear the machines shaking the trees. The hum of heavy equipment creating a swirl of dust in the orchard. A north wind is blowing, making the dust fly far and wide. Dust is better than mud, that’s for sure. I’ve been praying this day would come before the rain arrives. Our family doesn’t own nut harvesting equipment yet. The machinery is very expensive. So we wait our turn. Last in line to get our nuts to market. It’s kind of nerve-wracking. California’s rainy season begins in October. […]

By Paula October 23, 2017

Is Something Broken In Your Life?

When we got our porch swing a dozen years ago, I dreamed our daughters would court on it. I would wash dishes, keeping an eye on the girls and their suiters out the kitchen window that overlooked the swing. All dating would be done at our house. Their dad would be in the yard doing yard work, but not really. Scott would be watching the young couple while pretending to do yard work with a chainsaw in hand. Preferably a running chainsaw. If the couple got too close on the swing, Scott could wave the chainsaw around. You know, make […]

By Paula October 10, 2017

When God Gives You Back Your Treasure

A week after we shipped the tractor and all the donations to Africa, we were rearranging our two youngest boys’ bedroom. Double bunk beds crowd this space. Last year, our two older boys moved upstairs to Luke’s old room and now G2 and Cruz share the downstairs bunk bed bedroom. Someone had given us a new mattress, and we were exchanging Cruz’s old mattress. As Scott pulled the old mattress out of the lower bunk bed where Cruz slept when he was smaller, I inwardly groaned. A big fat mess was under the bed. Scott propped the old mattress in […]

By Paula September 28, 2017