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When you’re about to hit a wall

I used to think the Lord would never let me hit a wall. And then it happened. I awoke in a hospital bed hooked to IVs four years ago. An exhaustion breakdown, doctors said. I returned home fragile. Surprised at myself. Who knew I had to regularly eat. Regularly sleep. Regularly say no to all kinds of things. Self-care, they called it. I’m not good at self-care. I admit it sitting here alone in my house tonight, trying to rest. The boys are fishing. They invited me to go. I wanted to go. But I needed to rest. I canceled […]

By Paula April 28, 2017

A country boy can survive but will their mom?

There is nothing wrong with a barefoot country boy, I tell myself most every day. In the seventies, we all ran wild without shoes. No sunscreen. No bug spray. No worries. It was a different world. Our parents didn’t hover, they hosed us off when we got too muddy, and we went on our way. Being kids. Being carefree. Being us. My brother used to shoot meadowlarks in the pasture and we’d roast them in the driveway. I was maybe six, my brother eight years old at the time. We hunted together in the fields of the Sierra Nevada foothills […]

By Paula April 21, 2017

Two Easter Calves

When I was little, I loved looking for Easter calves. After church Easter morning we’d walk out into the pasture searching for newborns. Back then, I believed Easter calves came from God. Forget the Easter Bunny and hunting Easter eggs, finding Easter calves in the pasture always thrilled me. Not every year brought an Easter calf. Yet other years, two, or even three babies graced the morning, wobbling on wet, shaky legs or curled in tight little fetal positions on the dew-damp grass. The curled up ones were my favorite. Sometimes a little girl could pet these sleeping babies if […]

By Paula April 13, 2017

Teachers, please don’t forget, you do make a difference.

Yesterday, at church in the ladies room, I ran into an old teacher. Not just any old teacher, but the first teacher who ever told me I was a good writer. Nearly forty years later, I felt like a little girl for a moment in that ladies room standing there with my teacher. A hungry little girl. A little girl who needed approval in the worst way. “I hear you’re a published author now,” said this teacher, and my throat grew tight. Two books doing fine on Amazon hasn’t changed the way I feel inside. Like I’m not really an […]

By Paula April 3, 2017

She Said Yes!

This picture makes me laugh. And then cry. And then thank the Lord and laugh some more. I have a handful of Lacy’s engagement pictures to share with you today, but this one is my favorite. Taken in Oma and Opa’s kitchen this past Sunday when Lacy and Jake arrived home from their trip to Bodega Bay, where they got engaged Saturday afternoon. This picture is especially charming considering Cruz, photobombing here, was conceived in Bodega Bay. Not to confuse anyone who doesn’t regularly read my blog, or know us, but Cruz is Lacy’s baby brother, not her son. He […]

By Paula March 22, 2017

Working From Home With Kids

I have worked at home with children for years. There is nothing easy about it. Perhaps if I’d never worked outside of my home, you could convince me that packing kids up each morning and dropping them off at daycare before going to work was harder than working from home. But in my twenties, I did that. I got a lot more work done at work than I ever have at home with my little ones. Plus my home stayed cleaner. Small children can make the biggest mess. Some of these messes are with you for the rest of your […]

By Paula March 13, 2017

Grace and Determination

My friend and critique partner, Michelle Shocklee is making her debut with the release of her first novel, The Planter’s Daughter. Michelle and I met nearly a decade ago at a writer’s conference. We shared the same literary agent, Les Stobbe, back then and Les took all his writers in Denver to dinner during the conference. There were about a dozen of us, but the only writer I really remember is Michelle. We sat together at the end of a long, rustic table, and by the time the meal was finished, we’d made a special connection. Michelle’s boys were the […]

By Paula March 7, 2017