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When the first day of school is bigger than you

I don’t remember my first day of preschool, but I remember my last. Sitting on a bench with my mom outside the classroom as she chewed me out for chewing on a boy’s arm. Okay I didn’t chew on his arm, I bit him, hard. I started preschool because Mom was a night nurse and she needed to sleep during the day. “If you’re real quiet and stay off your pony while I’m in bed, I’ll let you stay home with me,” she said after unsuccessfully talking me into no more biting. I wasn’t about to promise no more biting. […]

By Paula August 18, 2015

When August isn’t what you planned

We made it to the fair, but that was about it. The kids returned to school today, and we didn’t even slip-n-slid. Didn’t run through the sprinklers. Didn’t go to the mountains to bid farewell to summer. I’ve frozen a lot of peaches this month, but haven’t made an August pie. And in less than a week, Anna’s birthday arrives. Her first birthday in heaven. Do people even have birthdays in heaven? What will we do here on earth with Anna’s birthday? What will we do with no slip-n-slides because of the drought? What will we do with California’s mountains on […]

By Paula August 13, 2015

Confessions of a little boy’s mommy

I don’t hug you enough, this is my confession, and I’m sorry I yelled at you today. It made perfect sense to me when I told you to get in the car that it was time for you to get in the car. Your two loops around the house on your bike before getting into the car made perfect sense to you. A jaunt through the muddy orchard before getting in the car made perfect sense to you. Capturing the cat for a good cuddle before getting in the car made perfect sense to you. You’d think I’d be better […]

By Paula August 4, 2015

Taste and See

On a clear blue Saturday afternoon, a day I was tired, hopeful, and a little bit sad, I looked out our hotel room window to see the Cathedral of the Blessed Sacrament in downtown Sacramento. This has kind of been my summer, really. Tired, hopeful, and a little bit sad. Not a day goes by I don’t escape the fact that life is different now. We aren’t untouched by tragedy anymore. Just like I’m not Catholic anymore. Yet, there she was: the downtown cathedral. “We can walk to mass in the morning,” I told Scott as he placed our bags […]

By Paula July 31, 2015

When Struggles Make You Stronger

Each morning when I wake, I pray for strength. I have to tell you the honeymoon with farming is over. It’s now hard work! Maybe this comes with building any marriage. Any business. Any farm. Blood, sweat, and tears lubricate success, they say. In May, we were thrilled to sign on with Raley’s supermarkets under their Living Local Farms program. We now deliver our peaches, pluots, and nectarines to a handful of Raley’s and Bel Air stores within fifty miles of our orchards, on top of doing our regular farmers’ markets, and opening a fruit shop on our property. Thank […]

By Paula July 23, 2015

Please Don’t Sing Louder

They used to sing louder as the train got closer. That German church near the railroad tracks where the Jewish people screamed on the trains as they were carried away. That church knew those Jewish people were being killed, but the only thing they did about it was to sing louder so they didn’t have to hear the screams as the train passed by. We hear the screams coming out of Planned Parenthood, but many of us are just singing louder. “It’s about women’s healthcare! About a woman’s right to choose! About our reproductive freedom! This isn’t the 1950’s, for […]

By Paula July 20, 2015

Meet Miss Kay

Is there someone in your life you can’t live without? This is our Miss Kay. We met in 2002 when she was my Bible Study Fellowship leader after we moved back to Yuba City. One of Bible Study Fellowship’s rules was you couldn’t talk about other books besides the Bible in class. Poor Miss Kay was always gently reminding me not to lose my focus since I kept forgetting and would bring up other books. I hardly knew Miss Kay when she came over and washed our toilets after my fifth baby was born, then she stayed in my life […]

By Paula July 18, 2015