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Broken and Beautiful

Today I prayed for God to show me something beautiful because I’m so weary of brokenness. And He did, but before I share with you this beauty that took my breath away, I want to share about brokenness.Since I set out barefoot with God on a quest to find beauty at the beginning of this year, I’ve come across so much brokenness.DEATHandDIVORCEandSICKNESSandSIN.People I love hurting. Really hurting. Hurting themselves. Hurting others. Hurting me. My heart aching with all the sadness in this world.So much of this sadness due to selfishness.SELFISHNESS.Sel~Fish~ness.Trying to understand, I break this word down and find “fish” […]

By Paula April 24, 2012

By Paula April 21, 2012

After A Hard Rain

This past Sunday dawned bright and beautiful, a spring day as crisp and clear as the fresh snow in the mountains.And when it happened, the tragedy that took her Sunday afternoon on a small-town street near the ocean, I thought of mountains. Both of us walking through the woods with bread in our hands. Feeding the animals after a hard rain.Grade school teachers dream up these things. The whole nature walk through the woods with bread in our hands business. And I think of her mother the teacher who led us through the dripping forest after the storm, now lost […]

By Paula April 17, 2012

LIVE SWEETLY

On Easter morning, I went to church wearing white, skinny jeans. Perhaps not the finest choice, but I hadn’t shaved my legs in weeks, and after getting four little boys scrubbed and shined, I didn’t have much time for myself.While walking the boys to Sunday school class, I passed a large family. They looked beautiful in their Sunday best. Easter dresses for Mom and daughters. Dad and sons all slicked up. I was taken aback when this lovely family began to mock me before I was out of earshot.“Look at her! Who does she think she is wearing Levi’s to […]

By Paula April 12, 2012

HE IS FAITHFUL

The two little boys trailed their grandpa to the hunting blind, a large rock draped in brush and tree limbs. Boulders dotted the hills, and brush grew taller than the boys’ heads. All three hunters wore camouflage. Stealth was needed to bag a wild turkey, and the boys and their grandpa were determined to come home with a twenty pound gobbler.The older boy, at nine years old, was already on edge. Earlier they’d heard a strange noise as they walked the hills. The growl of a bear perhaps, or the boom of a passing plane. Either way, it had frightened […]

By Paula April 6, 2012

Holding Too Tightly

If you’ve seen Top Gun, you might recall the scene in the movie where Cougar turns in his wings. Cougar is an elite fighter pilot, but he loses his edge holding too tightly to the family he loves. Cougar’s fall from grace leaves the Top Gun slot open for Maverick, and the rest is 1980s cinema history. Lately, I’ve been feeling like Cougar, holding too tightly to those I love. Sickness has revealed this. Every hour checking on my children. Wiping brows. Distributing Motrin. Keeping little ones in my lap. The days longThe nights longerA mother’s vigil becoming a life vestkeeping me afloatbut also preventing mefrom swimming to […]

By Paula March 27, 2012

Planting Daffodils

“I wandered lonely as a cloud that floats on high over vales and hills…” said William Wordsworth in 1804, beginning his famous Daffodils poem.I think about this poem as I watch the daffodil bulbs I planted in November unfurl in the yard. The day was dark when I buried these bulbs. “And then my heart with pleasure fills, and dances with the daffodils…”

By Paula March 27, 2012